A Message to The Winnipeg Police Service from Kit Carruthers
Chances are none of this will be surprising to any of you, I just wished to make it official.
I request you leave drugs alone entirely, I request you look the other way on drugs 100%. I request you go easy on public sex and nudity, I of course do not expect you to relax your enforcement of these laws, I simply request you never go hard on anybody caught in the act. Some of you will look the other way entirely, some of you will know that you still represent the law, I'm fine either way. I request you go very easy on prostitution, I will be much less tolerant of the type of officer who does not look the other way entirely, I do not request you go easy on horrible pimps. I request you go very easy on public drunkenness, I will be highly intolerant of anything besides looking the other way. I don't have anything to say on how you handle disorderly conduct, however only because I know I have realigned your perception of disorderly conduct. On vandalism, I request you go easy on just and correct vandalism, by now you understand the nature of what is just and correct vandalism, I request you go as hard as you can on random unjust vandalism. I request you go as hard as you can on hate speech, I request you lightly bend the limits of hate speech laws in order to target anybody deemed undesirable to our movement, you know who I am referring to, the people these laws are for, though I personally am a free speech libertarian on this one I prefer seemingly unfair hammering down on racists and homophobes simply for mischief purposes.
Obviously I have nothing to say on how you handle murder and general violence, except... You're going to have your hands full and this should probably be your prime focus. For the benefit of the people, I make a slightly more passionate request that you really think about what you're doing when arresting somebody for firearms possession, I need you to do a lot of looking the other way, the people within our movement need to protect ourselves, most of us can be trusted.
Obviously, do not expect to quell a riot. Do your job, set boundaries, keep your distance. Police cars will be set on fire, though Kit Carruthers requests civil riots you personally may be in a little danger. Kit Carruthers will never personally endorse anybody harassing you. Kit Carruthers will never personally endorse the riots themselves.
You're likely all thinking my refusal to endorse the riots is simply due to the fact that it is expected of a man in my position, and so I will give you my true feelings: I like it, I get nothing out of the destruction. It will simply be a beautiful thing to observe. I will remain detached and feel nothing towards them but admiration of the majesty.
The nature of "request" is such that we will not trigger our failsafe on you, serious interference with the movement will trigger our failsafe. To new recruits, the severity of the failsafe will be explained to you by your superior officers. There is no touching the movement, we have made it physically impossible. However arresting somebody for anything drug related whatsoever is something we will take incredibly seriously, and remember we have legal authority, on the subject of drugs the definition of request comes with a "Don't test it. It's more of a request that you not test it." With public sex and nudity, prostitution, drunk and disorderly conduct, vandalism, hate speech, it is simply a request, however if I were you I would fulfill my request. The result of testing my tolerance is likely only to be vocal, but as you know that is a considerably more serious threat from me than it is from most. The result of testing my tolerance on firearms could be a little more dangerous.
The New World order gave your guy a call, they said this is what's happening in Winnipeg, you have to read this, this is the ongoing work of the man responsible for what's about to happen in Winnipeg. And he was all "I don't know, something about it just told me not to read it..." Ended up causing a bit of an internal incident for the rest of them that could have been avoided. I had to give them the one liner joke of kill yourself. "You have to keep me in my delusions of superiority I carry a gun." They lost five cops. Aria had to do two more of these cops, by order, in the manner of more physical appropriateness. Leave them on the street until sunrise. You can clean them up at sunrise.
All of the complex legal mumbo jumbo goes in white courier because we are artists.
And Now a Message to the Movement
There you have it, they'll leave us alone, so please leave them alone. I know I know, a lot of you will never be able to get over how much you hate the police, chances are you hate the American police. Canada suffers from some similar problems within the police force, we do, however I assure you I and Aria Wellington have mellowed these problems, and these problems were already less likely to ever really become your problem due to the nature of our legal system.
I do wish for our movement to embody an incredibly hardcore outlook, I do, however I also wish for us to embody a civil outlook, or at the very least project a civil outlook. Don't worry, the definition of civil has been altered, you'll understand when you get to our essays. If after I have realigned your perception you still can't quite meet my standards of civil, I will have nothing to say about it, I'm not the type of person to tell you what to be I'm only the type of person to present to you all of the information and allow you to land on your own conclusions.
When you are arrested for something just, you know what you did, I suggest you take it like a man. All arrests in Winnipeg should now be just. I will not judge you for being how underworld be, I will only judge you for being a weasel. At the point of capture, if you actually did do what they accuse you of, if you have anything at all to say about your capture... You're lucky it was the police who got you before I did.
The Winnipeg Police Service needs you, concerned less chaotic hippies, they really do. We'll all get along a lot better with people like you in this position. We understand many people who come to Winnipeg to be police will be adopting a more firm hard law and order outlook, they desire containment, so long as you are properly aligned I deem you highly respectable however Aria Wellington will always be less tolerant of you.
When happening to find yourself in a riot situation, don't you dare touch any innocent mom and pop storefronts, focus your destructive attention on things a little more destructive to our society, particularly credit unions. If something a little more neutral gets caught in the crossfire I'll live with it. There are situations, if you touch an innocent person's storefront, where I may well just give you to the poor immigrant family who's storefront you fucked up and tell them they can do whatever they want to you south of murder, police look the other way. I'm not giving you full immunity from the police in a riot, so, watch yourselves. I am giving you partial immunity. I will suspend my philosophies against random unjust vandalism in a riot situation a little. A little.
All of the complex legal mumbo jumbo goes in white courier because we are artists.
We will be making sure riot insurance becomes as functional as it can be in Winnipeg, but, you are not to think for a second that means any business is fair game. When I say innocent mom and pop storefront I'm including local restaurants, pretty much anything not owned by a big soulless corporation. Pretty much. If you have a reason to attack a local business man we will hear your side of the story before we go making any rash moves. Minor structural damage that nobody is going to care about doesn't really count, pretty much just don't enter, don't break windows... The second you attack the sign to me it feels like you're trying to hurt the person and I'm, like, what's your problem? What did this guy do to you? Asshole. Yes, you're probably attacking the insurance companies more than you're attacking the owner of the establishment and the owner of the establishment will likely see it that way as well, but, don't get carried away with it. Remember, if you attack a residence... We all have guns. Don't attack a residence.
I think a good symbol in these riots would be burning the white flag of surrender.
To those of you who wish to engage in the public sex and nudity, no prissy proper elegant us do not look down on you, but no we won't be doing that. And no we don't want our future society to do that. But yes we do want our movement to do that. A little. As in we only want it a little not in that we would ever dare declare it too rampant, that'd be pretty stupid we only want one or two performances at a time. Just... Please be hot. If you're going to do this please be hot. Anywhere outside of Osborne Village I think it's going to feel a little out of place, you may get one or two weird looks.
On that note, no we do not want our future society to be as violent and chaotic as we know you want to be in this movement, not at the normals anyway. But yes, coming to Winnipeg for our movement is a dangerous move. But you'll be fine, everything will be just fine. Everything will always be just fine...